The Eye of the World chapters 21-30
Chapter 21
You know, acknoledgin the impossibility of the situation you wrote does not fix it.
Oh, so now we introduce Convenient Teleporting for the bad guys? I mean the trolls. I'm not convinced they are evil, or the wrong side. Lacking any emotional connection to the core party, having the core mysterie of the Original Prologue hanging over the events, not showing, or even clearly establishing the trolls' side being evil (naming the BBB Satan doesn't count in my book, not being christian) results in indifference towards both sides.
Ok, so Ninive is a will-be-mageling now. I ask, why the need for two? A disciple could be used to provide an inside-loor of the aes sedai, but we don't need two. And if I have to vote, I'll vote on Ninive, who has at least somewhat of a personality, unlike Egwenne.
Claiming Moiraine knew all along is on shakey ground. I thought it is the attitude and the staff. This is of course the result of the abscence of worldbuilding.
Ah, so the coins were for to track the guys. Ok, so we learn the rules. Next time we'll know.
And yes, Egwenne remained with Perrin.
Oh, so now we introduce Convenient Teleporting for the bad guys? I mean the trolls. I'm not convinced they are evil, or the wrong side. Lacking any emotional connection to the core party, having the core mysterie of the Original Prologue hanging over the events, not showing, or even clearly establishing the trolls' side being evil (naming the BBB Satan doesn't count in my book, not being christian) results in indifference towards both sides.
Ok, so Ninive is a will-be-mageling now. I ask, why the need for two? A disciple could be used to provide an inside-loor of the aes sedai, but we don't need two. And if I have to vote, I'll vote on Ninive, who has at least somewhat of a personality, unlike Egwenne.
Claiming Moiraine knew all along is on shakey ground. I thought it is the attitude and the staff. This is of course the result of the abscence of worldbuilding.
Ah, so the coins were for to track the guys. Ok, so we learn the rules. Next time we'll know.
And yes, Egwenne remained with Perrin.
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Chapter 22
Team B washed on shore decides to aim for Caemlyn, the 2nd twon on the road towards direction. Not a bad plan.
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Chapter 23
Team B goes through the usual nothing, where they meet Random Werewolf
(wolfbrother). They don't transform, just have some super stamina, super
vision, super healing and such. How they fit to this world where your
guess is as good as mine. They are not connected to the world AT ALL.
This is again implied to be some ancient thing, like Sadar Logoth, older
than God and Satan - again, I have no idea.
Oh, and Perrin is werewolf now.
We learn about the Black Ajah. C00l.
Oh, and Perrin is werewolf now.
We learn about the Black Ajah. C00l.
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Chapter 24
This chapter is kinda good, though segmented.
First there is a dream-sequence. Does nothing, but is kinda a good fantasy part.
Then there is a training scene, and voyaging on the ship, the crew having issue with the party - generic, but works.
And there is the last part where Rand implied to start going mad as all male casters.
The problem is, the ship sails in nothingness, and in a part through a museum. The problem is obvious: visiting a museum is not an adventure, and unless given detailed explanation on the items not even expository worldbuilding. It is just STUFF.
First there is a dream-sequence. Does nothing, but is kinda a good fantasy part.
Then there is a training scene, and voyaging on the ship, the crew having issue with the party - generic, but works.
And there is the last part where Rand implied to start going mad as all male casters.
The problem is, the ship sails in nothingness, and in a part through a museum. The problem is obvious: visiting a museum is not an adventure, and unless given detailed explanation on the items not even expository worldbuilding. It is just STUFF.
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Chapter 25
Team B meets with a bunch of gypsies. They have various names, but they
are gypsies. How they are connected to the world? They aren't. The whole
thing again hangs in the air.
These gypsies are looking for some song, and are extreme pacifist.
Here nothing happens aside some wague news that Satan had awoken - what we already knew, so cutting this whole chapter would result in no loss.
These gypsies are looking for some song, and are extreme pacifist.
Here nothing happens aside some wague news that Satan had awoken - what we already knew, so cutting this whole chapter would result in no loss.
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Chapter 26
At Team A Rand starts to specialise playinig on instruments, Matt on juggling.
They arrive at Town #1, and some lazy sailor immediately gets fired.
A "bit" stupid they coming by ship, and fast, expecting that anyone else from the party to be here, ya know.
The Fake Dragon from how many chapters before got captured. Who cares, we never met him, or any effect of his doing. But, he is taken to Town #2, so I expect to meet him. For no reason, obviously.
Some mad person was looking for the party some time before - I dunno what's this hiding his identity when it is obviously Mr. Fain, the merchant.
Some myrrdal was looking after too, so Thom would like to go away, while the guys would continue on. Well, Thom will miss his opporunity of a lifetime, the great hunt for the horn of valere then.
The fired sailor spreads rumours about them in the city, so they have no choice but to go to Town #2.
A myrdraal catches them on (they are a kinda good and original monster now). sp Thom sacrifices himself while the guys get away.
They arrive at Town #1, and some lazy sailor immediately gets fired.
A "bit" stupid they coming by ship, and fast, expecting that anyone else from the party to be here, ya know.
The Fake Dragon from how many chapters before got captured. Who cares, we never met him, or any effect of his doing. But, he is taken to Town #2, so I expect to meet him. For no reason, obviously.
Some mad person was looking for the party some time before - I dunno what's this hiding his identity when it is obviously Mr. Fain, the merchant.
Some myrrdal was looking after too, so Thom would like to go away, while the guys would continue on. Well, Thom will miss his opporunity of a lifetime, the great hunt for the horn of valere then.
The fired sailor spreads rumours about them in the city, so they have no choice but to go to Town #2.
A myrdraal catches them on (they are a kinda good and original monster now). sp Thom sacrifices himself while the guys get away.
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Chapter 27
Team B spends some more time with the gypsies. Why? Because the writer
said so. This makes Team B passive, and that's boring. Even frustrating,
because there is a reason hinted to exist, but not revealed even to the
reader, what on the long run makes readers throw your book in the
corner.
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Chapter 28
Team C reaches Town #1, and meet the aftermath of Team A, which is as it was predicted.
Realising the guys no longer have the coins change course and head to Team B.
So this whole Team C following Team A was useless.
Realising the guys no longer have the coins change course and head to Team B.
So this whole Team C following Team A was useless.
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Chapter 29
So, Team B is followed by "darkness". The problematic part is where the
werewolf says he doesn't even know what they are running from, which
means to the reader the writer doesn't know, so this whole "chase" is an
empty threat, shows lack of pre-planning, and in general weak writing,
which doesn't encourage you to keep reading.
To create some artificail tension RJ writes some ravens tear appart some fox. This is weak, artificial, disgusting, and does not advance the plot. And even kills the plot, as from Hitchcock's Birds we lernt you have no chance if horde-animals can be weaponised. Especialy flying animals.
They run to some safespace. Some magicly protected area. Ah, it is an anti-magic field, so the ravens can't be a threat, as to be a threat they have to be magicly mind-controlled. These places called shedding, living space of ogres - of curse they are all dead now or something.
More lore on King Arthur is coming, we learn he was an asshole. Did great things, but still an asshole.
To create some artificail tension RJ writes some ravens tear appart some fox. This is weak, artificial, disgusting, and does not advance the plot. And even kills the plot, as from Hitchcock's Birds we lernt you have no chance if horde-animals can be weaponised. Especialy flying animals.
They run to some safespace. Some magicly protected area. Ah, it is an anti-magic field, so the ravens can't be a threat, as to be a threat they have to be magicly mind-controlled. These places called shedding, living space of ogres - of curse they are all dead now or something.
More lore on King Arthur is coming, we learn he was an asshole. Did great things, but still an asshole.
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Chapter 30
I dun care how many times they say the name of King Arthur, because the
characters have no connection to it either by emotion, curiosity, or
research. It is white noise. CSLewis did something similar in Chronicles
of Narnia, and that was shit too because of this. This is not
worldbuilding, this is loredump, and even badly written loredump because
the lore has no connection to the rest of the world. Like you try to
make a puzzle, no idea of the big picture, you don't even have the
border, or even the size of the thing, and the small spots tells you
nothing, and are uninterresting.
For a bad writer this can seem worldbuilding on paper but it is at best lexicon-writing, and who reads lexicons for fun?
Anyway, now they are chased by humans, specificaly Children. How they passed the ravens is anyone's guess.
The Children get to them, and after a brief fight capture Team B, but not the werewolf.
This group also head for Town #2, aka. Caemlyn. Later they want to go to Amador, their ~capital. Though the Children is more of an international agency than a country.
A quick note: Caemlyn is like, Camelot? And this Arthur wanned to move his capital to this anti-magic area. Great. How much pengdragon-legend is ripped off to this thing?
The leader of these Children has some common sense. Not sure why I care, but at least after all the unconnected useless stuff, Children are kinda an integral part of this world, so I can work with this.
That Byar is an asshole though. And the whole Childran-group seems like trouble.
Come to thinkn of it, there isn't a single gorup we could trust, and isn't presented as trouble, meaning again we lack firm ground, we lack a fix starting point to build our interrest on for the whole Wheel of Time thingy.
Again the description of trolls. They are not even beastmen. More like animal-human hybrid. Still can't point to where this is familiar from.
For a bad writer this can seem worldbuilding on paper but it is at best lexicon-writing, and who reads lexicons for fun?
Anyway, now they are chased by humans, specificaly Children. How they passed the ravens is anyone's guess.
The Children get to them, and after a brief fight capture Team B, but not the werewolf.
This group also head for Town #2, aka. Caemlyn. Later they want to go to Amador, their ~capital. Though the Children is more of an international agency than a country.
A quick note: Caemlyn is like, Camelot? And this Arthur wanned to move his capital to this anti-magic area. Great. How much pengdragon-legend is ripped off to this thing?
The leader of these Children has some common sense. Not sure why I care, but at least after all the unconnected useless stuff, Children are kinda an integral part of this world, so I can work with this.
That Byar is an asshole though. And the whole Childran-group seems like trouble.
Come to thinkn of it, there isn't a single gorup we could trust, and isn't presented as trouble, meaning again we lack firm ground, we lack a fix starting point to build our interrest on for the whole Wheel of Time thingy.
Again the description of trolls. They are not even beastmen. More like animal-human hybrid. Still can't point to where this is familiar from.
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